Body Language

Jane Hooper, StepChange Training

'Do I eat you or do you eat me?

In the last budget, the newspapers had a field day speculating on the body language of Alistair Darling and Gordon Brown. Experts were drafted in to comment on the meaning of 'that eye wipe and 'this shoulder pat'. All somewhat gleefully using the evidence to support the view that the relationship was very much puppet and puppeteer. I have no wish to become embroiled in politics but they had a point.

People are fascinated by body language simply because it is a key channel of communication. Like any other language it needs to be interpreted with care. If we merely hear a word spoken, it means little, a sentence can be easily misinterpreted, we need to read at least a chapter to get a sense of the argument, and the whole book to get all the twists and turns of the plot. In reading body signals, it can be very dangerous to interpret rubbing an eye or covering a mouth as signs of dishonesty. That said, our subconscious minds interpret these signals all the time and go a long way to determining our impressions of people and situations.

Have you ever wondered why some people appear immediately attractive and others rather less so? Why is it that some people seem to have that magic ability to put others at ease? It's not just the words they use; it is the way they 'speak' with their whole body. So what is body language? Basically it's anything that is non-verbal; for example facial expression, gestures, how we stand in relation to another person, even the clothes we wear - all these will affect another person's perception of us. Often our tone of voice has more impact than the words we use.

Albert Mehrabian did a very famous, and alas oft misquoted, piece of research on communication. His findings were that when communicating feelings and attitude, the percentage of the communication dependant purely on the words used was 7%, voice tone 38% and body language 55%. This is especially relevant when they are incongruent: if words and body language disagree, one tends to believe the body language.

So why is body language this important? Well most of us communicate with other people every day, whether at work, at home or out with friends. When we are with family and friends we often 'read' their body language very well, and know when they are happy, sad, worried, or trying to hide something from us, simply by the way they act. Those of you who like to people watch in bars and cafes will be only too aware of the importance of understanding body language on that first date! How each person perceives another can influence their relationship forever. The old saying that "You never get another chance to make a first impression" is true. Subconsciously we are always evaluating other people, often in response to very ancient instincts. Despite thousands of years of evolution, when two people meet their primitive subconscious is asking one main question - 'Do I eat you or do you eat me?

Body language is what we can see, hear and sense, things going on 'above the water', for example: expressions, gestures, eye movements, words, tones etc. These signs are the evidence of everything that is within the individual, out of sight 'below the water'; for example: feelings, thoughts, values, beliefs, identity, emotions, mood, knowledge, history, experience and prejudices.

Whether we are giving these signals or interpreting them in others, we are always most comfortable when the signals are a natural, and essentially unconscious result of what is going on within. However there are things we can do to help us match our body language to the impression we want to give. The start point is to learn about non-verbal aspects of personal communications, and then start to understand our own behavioural patterns. From that point we can manage our behaviour to maximise the effect we wish to convey, while simultaneously improving our ability to 'read' others. But isn't that dishonest, trying to hide the way we are? Well the interesting thing is that our minds and our bodies are all part of the same individual's system and how we physically behave 'above the water' can affect the things going on within. Try this short exercise, take a moment to think about something that has recently caused you great stress, and be aware of your facial expression. You may have tightness in your jaw, or a furrowed brow? Now smile and see if you can maintain a happy countenance and the stressful memory. Most people find it impossible.
This is immensely powerful, by adopting positive body language we can influence the way we feel inside. For example it can enable us to be more confident as well as appearing so.

A deeper understanding of how our physiology enhances communication is invaluable at work. It helps you interpret what is going on, and gives you clues as to how to interpret behaviours and attitudes. For those of you interviewing or being interviewed, presenting, participating in meetings, or just wanting to positively influence people and situations, time spent exploring and developing your body language skills can help you achieve far more positive outcomes.

© Jane Hooper 2008

Jane is the MD & founder of StepChange Training and works with companies in all sectors helping her clients achieve measurable change in skills, cultures and behaviours. She works with her clients to provide creative and active learning programmes, facilitation and coaching, which she tailors to achieve your objectives and match your culture.

Contact Jane.hooper@stepchangetraining.com

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